Na moh na maya hai

1.
Na moh na maya hai;
Aalas tumhi ko aaya hai;
Humein bhi msg kar k dekh lo;
Nokia/Motorola/Sony ne ye mobile sirf
Tumhari GIRLFRIEND k liye nahi banaya hai.

2.
Ishq ke sahare jiya nahi karte,
Gum ke pyalo ko piya nahi karte,
Kuchh Nawab dost hain hamare,
Jinko Pareshan na karo to wo yaad hi kiya nahi karte...

3.
Rabb kare sade yaar muskraunde rehen,
Sohnia nu tarpaunde rehen,
Yara nal mehfila v launde rehan,
Kuri na fase koi gal ni, customer care nal kam chalaunde rehan.

4.
Kanjoos ki zindagi kya jeena,
Kabhi humari tarah bhi jiya karo,
Roz mere sms padh kar sharam nahi aati,
Kabhi khud bhi SMS kiya karo.

Qateel

1.
Dil si cheez hai, dene ko hai de dengay
Magar koi tumsa qabeel bhi to ho,

Hum to jaan de kay bhi khush hongay
Magar koi tumsa qateel bhi to ho.

2.
A lifetym thought
"alwz try ur best 2 get watever u luv."

Otherwise...
U wil b forced 2 luv watever u get..
*THINK BOUT DIS THOUGHT DEEPLY*

3.
Love is heat
Which is very sweet

Love is incomplete
Till 2 lips meet.

4.
If love is a crime,

Lock me up, i'm guilty baby

Straight

1.
Just to let you know that I went to heaven and back...

Oh right then!

Straight to the point! I want you right here, right now!

2.
Your daddy must be a terrorist.

Because you are....... DA BOMB!

3.

What is life ? Life is love.
Whats love ? Love is kissing.
Whats kissing ? Come here and I show you.

4.

If I could rearrange the alphabet,

I'd put "U" and "I" together.

5.

Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent,
Spontaneous, good-looking, nice friends,
Charming, funny,

Well...Enough about ME!
How about you?

Suicide

1.
2 Dost Suicide karne gaye,

Pahala : "Hey Bhagwan muje dunia ki saari nafrat de Pareshani de Dukh de!"
Dusra dost : "Abe tu maut maang raha hai ki Reliance mai Job?".


2.
Hi Smarty Pass this advice to all girls:

Do not play with street dogs,
You may get rabies.

And Do not play with smart boys,
You may get babies... ;-)


3.

Come here, take of ur pants & knickerz, get on the top of me.
Enjoy until u get statisfied..

Lovingly urs-----, "

I------ TOILET".

4
How do u recognize a SARDAR in school ?

They are the ones who erase their notebooks
When the teacher erases the blackboard !!

1 FRIEND like you

1.
FRIEND1 to FRIENDS2: 1 SEED can create a forest
1 SMILE can start a relationship
1 TOUCH can show love-n-care and
1 FRIEND like you can ruin a life.


2.
FRIEND1 to FRIENDS2:
Butterflies don't know what colour their wings are.
But human eyes know how beautiful it is.
Likewise you don't know your quality
But I know ki tu kitna kamina hai re....


3.
Kaash Tere Chehre Pe
Chickenpox Ke Daag Hote
Chand To Tum Ho Hi
Sitare Bhi Saath Hote




4.
MOSAM SHABAB KA,
NASHA SHARAB KA,
PARDA JANAB KA,
AUR RANG GULAB KA,
IN SAB SE HASEEN,
IN SAB SE LAJAWAB
DEKHO SMS PADNE WALA..
MENDAK TALAAB KA.

Aap gairon ki batein karte ho

1.
Aap gairon ki batein karte ho,
Humne apno ko aazmaya hai,
Log kanto se bachke chalte hain,
Humne phoolon se jhakam khaya hai.


2.
Dard ki had se guzarna to abhi baqi hai
Tut ke mera bikharna to abhi baqi hai,

Pas akar mera dukhdard batanewale
Mujhse katra ke guzarna to abhi baqi hai.


3.
Zindagi sabko milay zaroori to nahi,
Mohabat sabko milay zaroori to nahi.
Kuch log bahut yaad aate hain,
Woh bhi hume yaad kare zarori to nahi.


4.
Kisne meri kabar par aake diya jala diya
Bijli kadak ke gir padi sara chaman jala diya
Chain se so raha tha main odhe kafan majar par
Yahan bhi satane aa gaye, kisne pata bata diya

Jaago Aashiq Jaago

1.
Kabhi yeh mat socho k tumhari GF ne tumhe
Kitna romentic msg bhejaa hai.
Hamesha yeh socho k use kisne bheja hoga?
Jaago Aashiq Jaago

2.

Jekwa n Jilwa gaye upar hilwa, paani bhari ka vaste.
Jekwa gir gawa, uka khopdi phutt gawa n Jilwa aawat ludkan pura raste.


3.

A BOY on DATE With GIRL in BMW.
Jaan, Maine tumse ek baat chupayi hai. I'm already married.
Girl: oh, Tumne to dara diya, Main Samjhi BMW tumhari Nahi hai

4.

Judge- is sardar ke dono kan kaat do.
Sardar- nahin mai andha ho jaunga.
Judge- kan katne se andha kaise hoga?
Sardar- chashma kya tere baap ke kan p bethaunga

Breasts & Veggie

1.
A young man asks his father"Dadhow many kinds of breasts are there?"



The fathersurprisedanswers:
"Wellsonthere are three kinds of breasts.
In her twentiesa woman's breasts are like melonsround and firm.
In her thirties to fortiesthey are like pearsstill nice but hanging a bit.
After fiftythey are like onions."
"Onions?"
"Yessee them and they make you cry."


2.
PAPA : vo kon si cheez hai jis k charoo taraf baal hotay hain
SON : papa may bataoo ?
PAPA :nahi tum chup rahoo
SON : may batata hoo ..... AANKH
PAPA : ohh haan
SON : to aap kya samajh rahay thay ?


3.

A woman married a one legged man.
She wrote to her mother:
"My husband only has ONE FOOT".
Her Mother replied:
"You are luckyyour papa has
ONLY 5 INCHES"

Sitam karo ya na karo

1.
Sitam karo ya na karo, hum gila nahi karte,
virano mein phool kabhi khila nahi karte,
magar itna yaad rakhana hamesha ke
hum jaise dost bar-bar mila nahi karte.

2.
Hichkiyon se ek baat ka ehsaas hota hai
ke shayad koi hamen yaad to karta hai
beshak milne na aaye per
chandh lamhen hum per barbaad to karta hai.!

3.
Dost kabhi dosto se khafaa nahi hote..
Mil jaye dil to kabhi juda nahi hote
bhula dena meri kamiyon ko.
Kyu ki insan kabhi khuda nahi hote....

4
Zakhm dene ka andaz kuch aisa hai.
Zakhm dekar puchte hai ab hal kaisa hai.
Kisi ek se gila kya karna yaro,
sari dunia ka mizaz ek jaisa hai..

Us ajnabi ka youn na intezaar

1.
Us ajnabi ka youn na intezaar karo
Is aashiq dil ka na aitbaar karo
Roz nikla karen kisi ke yaad mein aanso
Itna kabhi na kisi se pyaar karo

2.
Ek ajnabi se mujhe itna pyaar kyon hai,
Inkar karne par chahat ka ikraar kyon hai…
Use pana nahi meri taqdeer mein shayad,
Phir har mod pe usi ka intezar kyon hai…

3.
Phir yaad ayae wo bikhre hue nazare,
Palkon pe reh gaye hai kanpte hue sitare,
Dil me machalne wale tufan tham gaye hai,
Arman zindagi ke khamosh ho gaye hai,
Viraniyan chamanki takdir ban gayi hai,
Mehrum zindagi ki tasvir ban gayi hai.

4.
Jab hum akele hote hain ..
Sab kitne begane se ho jate hain
Jo apne nahin the woh bhi
Asaani se ansu de jaate hain !

PRAYER

1.
son: kal daddy ke office room se PRAYER karne ki awaaz aa rahi thi

mom: pray karna to achhi baat hai
son: daddy to chup theyunki secreatry chilla rahi thi "Oh God Oh God"


2..

Dost! Mere marne ke baad mera janaza uski galiyo me ghuma denaagar wo dikh jaye to ek bar mera hila dena..
.
.
Abe Hath

Bye Bye Bolna hai..


3..

Boy: "Aunty why was uncle lying on u last night..?"

Aunty: "He was checking my temperature."

Boy: "did he get it right? I saw the thermometer leaking..!"


4.

Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?

A: How do you breathe through that thing?

ZINDAGI kisi ki

1
ZINDAGI kisi ki AMANAT nahi hoti
AMANAT mei kabhi KHAYANAT nahi hoti
Hum se DOSTI zara sanbhal k krna
Humari DOSTI ki qaid mei ZAMANAT nahi hoti



2.

Nasha jaruri hai zindagi k liye,
sirf sharab hi nahi hai bekhudi k liye,
kisi ki mast nigahon me doob ja ae dost,
bada hasi samundar hai khudkushi ke liye.



3.

Zindagi ka raaz raaz rehne do,
Jo bhi ho aitraaz aitraaz rehne do,
Jab yeh dil dilse, baat karna chahe,
Dost yeh mat kehna aaj rehne do.


4.

Apni aankhon ke samandar main utar Jane de.
Tera mujrim ho doob kar mar Jane de.
Kisi ke kehne se meri chahat tere kaam Na hogi.
Sochta ho kahoon tumse magar Jane de.

MOSAM SHABAB KA

1.
MOSAM SHABAB KA,
NASHA SHARAB KA,
PARDA JANAB KA,
AUR RANG GULAB KA,
IN SAB SE HASEEN,
IN SAB SE LAJAWAB
DEKHO SMS PADNE WALA..
MENDAK TALAAB KA.

2.
Lady: Muje Talak chahiye
SARPANCH: Magar vo to kabadi champion hai
LADY: Yehi problem hai khel k jaisa rat ko bhi sirf chhukar chala jata hai.

3.
Sustipur se Fresh Nagar tak jane wali
Morning xpress bathroom no.1 par khadi hai,
SWEET yatrign se anurodh hai ki
Kripya apne din ki shuruwat nahakar karen.

4.

Na Moh na Maya hai,
Aalas tumhi ko aya hai..
Humein bhi Msg kar k dekh lo BETA,
NOKIA ne yeh Mobile Sirf Tumhari Girlfrend k liye nahi banaya hai...

Chubby Cheeks

1.
Chubby Cheeks,
Dimple Chin,
Browny Lips,
Tiny eyes &
Rosy Tongue
Actually I ws pointing out d similarities b/w U & vodafone dog.
it's gr8!
Are u twins?

2.

Go down to c my heart..
.
.
.
.
.
Dekha.
Kitna saaf hai mera DIL,
Bole to ekdam Aapke.

Dimag Ki tarah.


3.

It takes 42 muscles to frown and only four to extend my middle finger and tell you to bite me.

4.

Jab tum hanstey ho to......
Esa lagta hai k insan pehlay bandar tha

Dekho ghusa na karna

Kiyon k jub tum ghusa kartey ho to......
Esa lagta hai k insan aaj bhi bandar hay

How old is

1.
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.

Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born.

2.
Teacher : Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun.
Everyone must attend it.
Raju: No mam I will not be able to attend it.

Teacher : Why?
Raju: My mother will not allow me to go so far!!!



3.

Question: What is the full form of math's.

Answer: Mentally affected teachers harassing students

4.

Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror!

Itna sannata kyon hai

1.
A bhai! Itna sannata kyon hai?
Kitne der se sms ki ghanti nahi baji.
Yeh sare network fuse hogaye
Ya mere dost hi kanjus hogaye

2.

Sometimes, I forget to say hi,
Sometimes, I even miss to reply,
Sometimes, my msg doesn't reach u,
But, it doesn't mean that I forget u,
I'm just giving u time to miss me!


3.

Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
Tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de

4

Us Pyari si surat ka phir ek bar didar de,
Tadap rahe hain hum yahan, ab aur na intazar de,
Awaz mat suna, ae zalim magar,
Ek kam se kam ek MISSED call to mar de...

Kya ghar hai

1.
Ek macchar ek takle ke sar par ja baita...
Dusra macchar bola:- Waha kya ghar dunda hai..
Pehla macchar bola:- Ghar kaha re abi to sirf PLOT karida hai...

2.

Ek sharabi marne laga tab bhagwan pratyaksh hoke "koi antim ichcha?"
Sharabi- agle janam me ek liver extra laga dena....!

3.

Duniya Gol Hai:-
Chuha Billi se darta hai,
Billi Kutte se darti hai,
Kutta Aadmi se darta hai,
Aadmi Biwi se darta hai,
Biwi Chuhhe se darti hai.!
Duniya Gol Hai..

4.

Safed rang ho agar mehboob ka,
Toh mohabbat ki detergent khusbudar nazar aati hai,
Na koi aur hota kharid-dar SURF-EXCEL KA ,
Aur na dhulai RIN-SUPREME ki kam nazar aati hai...!!!

Subh ka har pal

Subh ka har pal Zindagi de aapko,
Din ka har Lamha Khushi de aapko,
Jahan gum ki hawa chu ke bhi na gujare,
Khuda woh Jannat si Zamin de Aapko.

Guds Mrng

2.
You r my sweet SONA,
I don't want u KHONA,
I want a place in your heart's KONA,
Otherwise i will start RONA,
Atleast Good Morning to kar LONA

3.
Suraj ki pahli kiran
Khushi de apko,
Dusri kiran hasi de
Tisri tandurasti
Chouthi kamyabi
Bas kafi ho gaya.
Ab garmi lagegi?!!
..Gud mrng

4.
Morning is God's way of saying:
"One more time! Live life.
Make a difference.
Touch 1 heart.
Encourage 1 mind.
Inspire 1 soul..."
Gud Morg...

requirements for any job...

1.
in order to get a joba man rerequires 100% talent...

where as


a female requires only 4% talent..


remainig is ..


\3/\6/
)24(
(3|6)


2.

On the first night of honeymoon the wife crazyhusband says"My sweet darlingI am going to take you to moon tonight."



The impatient wife says"Surebut first at least let's see the rocket to get there."



3.
Sex is like Pizza



When its hot ym.. it's VERY GOOD.



But then when it's cold its still goo....d.



4.
The saddest part of a Man's body is his Balls.

The Lord Almighty sentenced them to : Hang Till Death !

Ishq sabhiko

1.
Ishq sabhiko jina sikha deta hai,
Wafa ke naam par marna sikha deta hai.

Ishq nahi kiya to karke dekho,
Jalim har dard sehna sikha deta hai


2.
Pathar pani main na pheko
Usse koi aur bi pita hai,

Zindagi jeeni hai to has kar jiyo
Tume dekh kar koi aur bi jeeta hai

3.

Dil Ki Aawaj Ko Izhar Kahate Hai,
Jhuki Nigaho Ko Ekrar Kahte Hai,

Sirf ''Jatane'' Ka Nam Ishq Nahi,
Kisi Ki Yaado Me Jeene Ko Bhi Pyar Kahate Hai.

4.

Yaadon ka ye silsila banaya rakhna,
Dost kaha hai to dosti banaye rakhna,

Jaan to nahi magenge aapse,
Gujarish hai jaan pehechan banaye rakhna.

If ever in your life

1.
If ever in your life U R very sad & lonely
& feel that U have lost every thing,
I will come, Hold your hand,
Take U 4 Walk on a Bridge & Show U where 2 jump From

2.
Just close ur eyes and think of urself for 10 seconds …

Open ur eyes!

Now you will realize that u have wasted 10 secs in thinking of a fool


3.
When are you going to marry me?
I can't live without you.
I love you dear, marry me within this month otherwise i will die.
See, how Aishwarya Rai messaged me! Silly girl..

4.

A gift to girl friend that half comes backs to you?
?
?
Think
?
?
?
?
LIPSTICK

I always thought

1.
I always thought loving someone is the greatest feeling,
But I realized that loving a friend is even better.
We lose people we love, but v never lose true friends.
2.
Thank you for touching my life in ways u may never know.
My riches do not lie in material wealth but in having friends like u -
A precious gift from God!

3.
Do u ever recall the first day we met?
R first hello?
The day we became friends?
Well, I do and I will always remember.
For that very day, I knew I'd cherish u.

4.

50 years from now, I'd be so old I might forget u.
I might not remember ever knowing u, or might forget I once cared for u.
I might.. But I won't.

Har raat

1.
Tum har raat mere khwabon mein aao,

Tum har raat mujhe yuunhi satao,
.
.
.
Melody khao khud jaan jao........

2.
Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain

Aaj aasmaan mein taare aise chamak rahe hain....
.
.
.
JAISE KAL CHAMAK RAHE THE !!!

3.
College ki gali me ajeeb khel hota hai,
Classke bahane diloka mel hota hai,

Notes ki jagah love mail hota hai,
Isliye to pappu har sal fail hota Hai..

4.
1 bar exam me question tha.`challenge kise kahte hai?

Sardar ne sare page chhodkar last page par likha :

Apne bap ki aulad hai to paas kar ke dikha.

Meaning of Darling

1.
D- Dear
A- Always
R- Remember
L- Love
I- Is
N- Not
G- Game

2.
Wot letters r missin in H__RT?
EA or U?
Pick EA & u get a heart! If u pick U,
U will get hurt!
I'd pick U coz
it's better to get hurt than have a heart without U!

3.
1000 words 1 cud say.
1000 wishes 1 cud pray.
1000 miles legs cud walk.
1000 sounds a mouth cud talk.
1000 times ill b true.
1000 ways 2 say i luv u!

4.
8 letters, 3 words, 1 meaning... I love you

Pressure

Don't be afraid of pressure.

Remember that pressure is what turns a lump of coal into a diamond.

...................................................

Falling down doesn't make you a failure, but staying down does.

...................................................
Although the tongue weighs very little,

Very few people are able to hold it.

...................................................

A person's true character is revealed by what he does when no one is watching.

...................................................


Some people complain that there are thorns on roses,

While others praise thorns for having roses among them.